Children need special treatment during a divorce

Grand Rapids, Mich. (WOTV) - Children have special needs during a divorce.  If you and your husband are divorcing it is important to put your children as your top priority.  Some couples get caught up in the drama between themselves and the children end up in the middle.  Others leave the kids out of the loop totally.  What are the important issues you need to address regarding your children when your marriage dissolves?

How you tell the kids that you and your spouse are divorcing sets the tone for the separation process.  If possible, tell them before you separate so that they have a few days to prepare for the change and get used to the idea that their family dynamics are changing.   Assure them that it is not their fault, they had nothing to do with the decision to divorce and that their parents both love them and will continue to be in their life.  Be sure that they understand know they are safe and that their world will not fall apart.  Structure in their schedule and keeping the rules and boundaries in tact is going to be an important part of giving them the security they need. 

It is normal for kids to be worried about their parents during a divorce.  Even if you are falling apart inside show the kids that you are strong and resilient..  Talk to them about the changes that will occur and reassure them that you have things under control.

Lastly, let your children retain their position as children.  Do not involve them in the issues between you and their father.  It is not their job to take on adult topics, no matter what their age.  If you need someone to talk to, get a therapist.

Divorce is difficult, but keeping an even keel when it comes to the kids will help you to navigate co-parenting with your soon to be ex.  It will also assist in minimizing the affects on your kids of your marriage dissolving.