Tips on starting again after a divorce

Grand Rapids, Mich (WOTV) - Let's face it, getting out there and being social again after years of being married to the same person is daunting.  The longer you have been at home on the couch with your husband, the harder it is to fathom meeting a new group of people to socialize with.  Plus, often after a divorce, you find that some of your friends have disappeared either because they are more friendly with your ex or that they are part of a couples group.  Here are some ideas to give you a start in expanding your social circle.

Say nice things.  To everyone, all day.  If you are positive and upbeat and say positive things about others studies show that people will associate you with that positive trait.   It is so easy to become negative and down after going through a divorce and making an effort to tell people something nice about themselves is a great way to boost both your mood and theirs.  Plus, you might just make a new friend.

Is there something you have always wanted to try?  Painting, Tae Kwon Do, skiing, or speaking a foreign language are examples of things you may just have always looked at and thought, "Boy, that looks like fun".  Now is your chance.  Join a class or a group who have interests that interest you.  You will learn a new skill and meet some new people.

I have said it before, but it bears repeating.  Get a dog!  Honestly, don't get a dog just to meet people, do it because you will get a best friend and you love dogs.  If this is the case, studies show that people with dogs interact with others twenty times more often while out and about with their dog.  A dog park is a great place to exercise your pal, let him play with his new friends and for you to meet new friends as well.  

Volunteer.  Find an organization that you are interested in and volunteer your time helping them out.  There are some great opportunities out there from being an animal handler and talking to visitors at the zoo to getting involved in political races.  Your  time will be appreciated and you will know a whole new crowd.

 Getting comfortable with your new circumstances and finding fun people to socialize with is important for your overall mental health.  It will help you move on and keep you from becoming mired in the negative.