Updated: Friday, 19 Oct 2012, 11:58 AM EDT
Published : Friday, 19 Oct 2012, 1:57 PM EDT
Grand Rapids, MICH (WOTV) - The process of going through a divorce is one of the most stressful events you can endure. Whether the split was your idea, your husband's or both, your world is turned upside down. Living arrangements, finances, even your circle of friends change when a couple unties the knot, but there are ways to make coping with the stress a bit easier.
Make sure that you take care of yourself first so that you are able to care for others. If you have children to take care of, you can't accomplish it without being healthy yourself, so take time to exercise. Taking a walk by yourself after work will help you unwind and getting out into nature is always a mood booster.
Keep your physical appearance in good order. Having your hair styled, getting a pedicure or manicure or booking a massage are all great ways to keep the endorphins up and the stress hormones down. It will also boost your self esteem by knowing that you look great and you will likely draw some compliments as well.
Get a good therapist and see him or her regularly. Having insight into the reasons things didn't work out assists you from feeling like a total victim or a total loser. You will also want to find out what you need to change so that you don't repeat the same patterns with a new partner. No one can help you accomplish that other than a good therapist.
Stay social. Don't become a hermit and hide out. Your old friends may not all stick with you through the divorce (some will likely stick with your husband instead), but you will find a few good souls who truly are your friends to get out and do things with. It is easy to become depressed when the only adult company you have is yourself and your lawyer.
Journal. Writing your thoughts and feelings help get them off your chest and out of your mind. Instead of obsessing on the nasty phone call from your husband, unload your anger in your journal and you will feel better. Doing so before bed will also help keep what I call your 'monkey mind' from chattering all night about the issue and causing insomnia. A good night's rest is a good stress fighter. Journals are also great tools to look back on and see how far you have come and how much you have grown.
Lastly, be flexible. Try new things and don't be afraid to get outside your comfort zone. You are about to start a new life and you just might find that if you leave your fear of change behind and embrace the unknown, your life will take off in a new and better direction.