Updated: Wednesday, 03 Oct 2012, 1:54 PM EDT
Published : Wednesday, 03 Oct 2012, 1:54 PM EDT
Grand Rapids, Mich. (WOTV) - With the economic climate we have had in Michigan the past couple of years, we have seen more couples putting off filing for divorce or talking about sharing a household while divorcing. Is it a good idea not to separate while going through a divorce just to save money?
Couples who have not been married long, have little personal property, have no children and have an amicable divorce may be able to handle sharing a home while in the midst of a divorce. If you do not fit into ALL of those categories, the answer is no, do not share a home while pursuing a divorce. The stress of living with the person that you are terminating your marriage from is not worth the financial benefit of living together during this time. In addition, if there are children involved, it sends a mixed message which is often confusing and puts them in an environment where they are likely to hear details of the drama of your divorce. Keeping children out of those details is so important to their well being!
Quite often it is the man that suggests having an arrangement where you share the house to save the costs. Among a couple, women are normally not as assertive as the man. In a situation where the husband is controlling, living together puts her in a position to be a prime target for abuse. It is just too easy to become the target of the anger and stress that often develop while trying to work out the details of your divorce agreement.
The months during which your divorce is proceeding allows you to become independent, assume the duties your husband used to do around the house, and form a new life. Your soon to be ex-husband lurking around the house, watching your every move, would make anyone uncomfortable. This is a time you need to have a safe haven, a soft place to land and privacy to grieve the loss of your marriage. So, bottom line, it isn't worth the money you would save. As spiritual and life coach, Iyanla VanZant says, "Put on your big girl panties" and insist that he leave.
Nothing herein constitutes legal advice.